Of Wasps and Indignities
by ThurinRanger
Summary: Somehow Glorfindel has convinced Erestor to go on a picnic with him, and he is not enjoying himself. Things can only get worse when an amicable Wasp joins in the fun. Grasshoppers become hair ornaments, terrible songs are sung, and surprisingly no one is stung. ONESHOT. No slash, just friendship DISCLAIMER: don't own. see story for the full disclaimer by Estel. Please review!


**DISCLAIMER(by Estel): Thurin doesn't own any of it. Never has, never will. But, if you want to know what to get her for her next birthday, she wants it.(little boy spelling and punctuation dutifully corrected by Erestor)**

**This is a little Oneshot I whipped up due to my new obsession with Glor' and 'Stor fics. I've been reading so many I thought I might as well make my own contribution. :/**

**No slash, just close friendship.**

A warm September day found Glorfindel and Erestor lounging in a meadow.

Well, Glorfindel was the one doing the lounging. Erestor was sitting up straight as a board, hair perfectly aligned, robes sloping gently around him.

"You're going to get grasshoppers in your hair again, Fin."

"Mm, what? Oh, I don't mind."

Erestor gave his carefree friend a disapproving look. Glorfindel was sprawled across the thick grass, hair and limbs every which way, basking in the warm sunlight.

"Here comes one now, oh, he's crawling up to your ear!"

"I don't mind, 'stor."

The Advisor wrinkled his nose in disgust at the three large green grasshoppers all nestled in the Balrog-slayer's hair.

Erestor was not having a good time. Glorfindel had dragged him out to the meadow two hours ago with a stuffed picnic basket, saying that it was a beautiful day and Erestor worked too much anyway.

So far the Seneschal had spent the first hour worrying about all the work he should be doing, the second being convinced by Glorfindel that it wouldn't kill him, and these last few minutes worrying over Grasshoppers.

Erestor didn't really hate bugs, he just was not very fond of them, but it was always he who had to pull them out of his friend's hair, for Glorfindel always squished them.

Suddenly a wasp darted over and began hovering over them.

"Fin!" Erestor gasped, grabbing Glorfindel's arm, all his usual reserve gone.

"It won't hurt you, it's just a wasp."

Erestor tightened his grip, his limbs shaking, his eyes widening in fear.

Now, Erestor was a brave elf. He had braved many an Estel-tantrum, he could even stand up for himself beautifully in the harshest arguments with the temperamental elf beside him.

But wasps made him lose it. He was always the one who was swarmed, always the one who stepped in the nest. Erestor shuddered at the memory of the time when one had flown up his robe. Yes, Erestor was having the Elvish equivalent of a nervous breakdown.

It really wasn't a particularly aggressive wasp, buzzing around his head amiably.

But all Erestor could see was the stinger.

"Fin! By the Valar, help me! Mellon nin!" Erestor gasped, choking on his own words as he fell upon Glorfindel, clutching at his robes and hair, killing a few innocent Grasshoppers while he was at it.

"Woah! Calm down 'stor, he won't hurt you."

"That's what you always say! They always do! Remember last time!" Erestor cried, in near hysterics.

Glorfindel winced sympathetically at the memory.

"There there, it'll be alright."

"No it won't! Melkor! Here it comes again!" The advisor squeaked, holding on to Glorfindel for dear life.

A few concerned elves hurried over to the frantic ellon, but Glorfindel waved them away angrily, knowing how embarrassed Erestor would be.

Glorfindel knew he had to do something quickly before Erestor fainted, or worse.

"Do you want me to kill it?"

"Yes." Erestor moaned, tears streaming down his face as the wasp alighted delicately on his shoulder.

Glorfindel nodded grimly before laying the trembling elf gently on the grass, and removing his own tunic.

"Come one, just a little closer now...Got ya you little servant of darkness!" Glorfindel crowed with delight as he trapped the wasp in his tunic, twisted it closed like a sack, before hurrying over to a small brook, dunking the offender in, and so drowning him.

" 'stor?"

"mmmm?"

"I killed it."

Erestor sighed immensely with relief before picking himself up, looking around cautiously for more wasps all the while.

Glorfindel collapsed back into his restful position while Erestor hurriedly dusted himself off and tried to retain his dignity.

"Oh loosen up already, 'stor."

Erestor wiped his eyes before sending Glorfindel another one of his famous disapproving glares.

"No one can see you, and anyone who can already saw you in your moment of indignity. Just enjoy life, 'stor!" Glorfindel sighed long-sufferingly at his dear friend, frowning largely.

Erestor's eyes widened as he noticed for the first time the other elves out walking and picnicking, before quickly re-directing his eyes and retorting:

"I am enjoying life, just from a higher rung on the ladder."

Glorfindel smirked.

"So sitting up straight and shooting elves glares when you should be relaxing is enjoying life from a higher rung on the ladder? Yeah, you look like you're having a blast up there 'stor."

Erestor looked pointedly away at a flitting butterfly.

Glorfindel smiled evilly before lunging out, grabbing Erestor and tipping him over. Caught unawares, Erestor went down backwards with a squawk as Glorfindel scooted over to the prostrate elf.

"Fin, I'll get Grasshoppers in my hair!"

"You'll be none the worse for it."

Erestor growled threateningly. He tried to return to a sitting position, but Glorfindel restrained him easily, all the while grinning ridiculously.

"Oh the joys of having a friend stronger than you. Ai, I am really enjoying myself now." Erestor sputtered, still struggling against his massive friend's arm.

"Sing me a song, 'stor."

"Stop it, you know I can't sing. Besides, elves would think I'm silly."

"I like your singing, 'stor. I don't think it's silly. And anyway, I didn't realize that singing made elves look silly."

Erestor looked alarmed.

"You sing when you work and think no one's listening." Glorfindel stage-whispered, as if he was letting his friend in on a big secret.

"Please?" He added as an afterthought, observing Erestor's venomous glare.

"But I have so much work to do!"

"Let Lindir do it."

"Fin!"

"Well, um, let the twins do it."

Erestor looked like he would have a heart-attack.

"Erestor, you have a lovely voice." Glorfindel whispered quietly, after a long silence.

"You're such a bad influence on me."

"Does that mean you'll do it?"

Erestor nodded.

"But what will people think?" Glorfindel asked cautiously as he plucked an indignant Grasshopper from his hair.

Erestor smiled mischievously before diving into a very bad song he had just thought up at the moment:

_There once was a very tall elf who's hair was long and gold,_

_And he once dominated battle fields of old,_

_But then one day his eyes beheld a maiden very fair,_

_And then our hero went and chased her round, the wind was in his hair,_

_And then our great warrior fell as teardrop from a cheek,_

_For the maiden fair pushed him into Lindir's favorite lake-_

"Hey! That doesn't even rhyme!" Glorfindel cried in dismay, mortified at the terribly true song his friend had just composed about him.

"But I wasn't done yet! I was about to get to the good part about the time your trousers ripped open in the hall of fire and-"

Glorfindel hastily covered Erestor's mouth with his hand and made a very pained expression as he recounted that event, before quickly coming up with a bit of payback:

_A bee comes buzzing o'er the hills, and a new victim it spies,_

_Erestor, Erestor, who might just die,_

_For Erestor's afraid of bees with a deathly fear,_

_And he clings to lord Glorfindel like his nana dear-_

Erestor's face promptly went red up to his ear tips as he quickly silenced Glorfindel with a jab to the ribs.

Glorfindel just wore that naughty smile Estel adopted when he had been up to no good, and rubbed his ribs regretfully.

" 'stor, can you skip?"

Erestor glanced up suspiciously.

"Why?"

"Just wondering."

"No. Well, I don't really know, I've never tried."

Glorfindel smiled evilly as he retrieved his soaked tunic from the stream, and drew out the mangled form of the dead wasp.

Erestor gasped.

"Now, I will chase you with this, and will throw it in your hair if you do not skip."

"What?!"

"ROAR!"

"EEP!"

"SKIP ERESTOR, OR ELSE I'LL THROW IT!"

"NOOOO! HELP! FIN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!" Erestor screeched as he attempted to skip/run across the meadow with Glorfindel in hot pursuit.

"I AM YOUR FRIEND 'STOR, I'M TEACHING YOU HOW TO SKIP SO THAT YOU CAN IMPRESS ELLETHS."

Erestor stopped short. Glorfindel slammed into him.

"What do you mean?"

"Elleths like it if you skip by them, throw flowers at them, that sort of thing."

"You've got to be joking. Since when have I been falling head over heels for elleths? I'm a bachelor."

"I know, but seriously, you can never have too many elleths."

"Really? I'll remember that. Ok, so, um, what now?"

"LET THE CHASE RESUME!"

"ACK! FIN, PLEASE!"

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

"I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

;);););););)

"Lord Elrond." Lindir breathed, shock apparent in his features.

"Yes, what is it?" Elrond replied, not bothering to glance up.

"I think there's something wrong with Erestor." Lindir squeaked, cracking his knuckles nervously.

Elrond's head shot up, hit the ceiling lamp before it promptly fell into his hands.

"What? What do you mean?" He asked worriedly. There was never anything wrong with Erestor, ever.

"He wasn't at his desk so I went to look for him, and, oh! It was terrible, come and see."

Now Elrond was really worried. What was wrong with his beloved advisor?

He rushed to his balcony and beheld a sight he would never forget:

Glorfindel racing after Erestor, waving what seemed to be a dead bug at him while the latter appeared to be attempting to skip while loudly singing a terrible impromptu song(if you could call it that)punctuated by screams of fear.

But was Erestor actually...smiling? Sure, Elrond's advisor did smile, on occasion. But never like this. Erestor actually looked like he was having a genuinely good time.

"What of his work, Lord Elrond? Should I retrieve him?" Lindir asked nervously, praying to Eru with all his heart that he would not have to jump into the fray.

"No, do not. I will finish it for him, poor elf. Glorfindel is really a good influence on him." Elrond chuckled.

He right out laughed when he heard Erestor scream to his companion:

"FIN, YOU ARE SUCH A BAD INFLUENCE ON ME!"

"YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF, JUST SAY IT, YOU ARE!"

"NEVER! I HAVE SO MUCH PAPERWORK TO DO!"

"SKIP FASTER, OR ELSE I'LL STICK IT IN YOUR HAIR!"

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!

(a few moments later)

"Fin, could we pause for a moment, I'm out of breath."

"Certainly, 'stor."

"I love you Fin."

"I know. RESUME THE CHASE!"

~fin~

**ok, sorry for the really bad songs, but I did that on purpose. :P**

**Elvish Translations: Ai - Ah Mellon nin - My friend Nana - Mommy/Mama**

**Erestor: None of that actually happened! I would never stoop so low, just forget it all.**

**Glorfindil: Ha! 'stor's just embarrassed, but he'll get over it...someday...**

**Please review, it's the only reward I can get for my hard work, the only way I know if anyone appreciated. It makes my day, really, it does. **

**Hannon le for reading(and if you want to give me an added bonus, reviewing/favoriting)**

**~Thurin**


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